Colin Jones loved photography and dreamt of traveling to tell the world’s stories through the lens of his cameras. After high school, he enrolled in Wayne State University’s Global Studies Program. A few mission trips to Jamaica verified those innate passions… he was met for travel and storytelling. He opened an online site store to sell his still photography and videography and was on a trajectory to live out his dreams.
In April 2020, he went to the emergency room for back pain and left with a shocking diagnosis of testicular cancer. In January 2021, there was a secondary diagnosis of an aggressive form of acute lymphoblastic leukemia as a result of his intense treatment regimen. Colin passed away on October 21, 2021, weeks shy of his 22nd birthday.
His parents, Karen and Charlie, and three young siblings were left with a deep loss, as Colin not only loved photography and traveling, but he intensely loved his family and friends.
During Colin’s cancer journey, Karen posted on her Facebook page as a way to have control over their journey versus having others speculate about what might be happening. She says, “The posts were a source of truth so others could understand the prognosis, treatment and to check in on how we were doing.” After Colin’s death, she used her page to share the rough anniversaries – six months, 12 months etc.
FIND WHAT HE/SHE LOVED AND HONOR IT
Karen explains that the most comforting thing for her was when people would display Colin’s photography in their homes. She was so moved by the number of people who purchased his work. Friends would send pictures of where his photography was hanging or she would see canvases or matted prints on her visits to friends and loved ones’ homes. “Colin’s work was so important to him,” she explains. “It made him feel productive and he was sharing what he loved. Keeping his store up and running is meaningful to us.” People still continue to purchase his work and the Jones family has donated proceeds to New Day Foundation for Families, a Michigan-based non-profit that provides families with financial and emotional assistance during cancer treatment.
RESPECT HOW THE FAMILY DECIDES TO MEMORIALIZE
“I was under pressure from people to do something on the anniversary of Colin’s death,” says Karen. “I was stressed out when it was coming up to the first year.”
She suggests that you do what feels right. “Don’t let the pressure take away from your sadness and everything else that comes with the anniversary days.” For the Jones family, they went to Belle Isle on the first anniversary and walked around looking at all the sights that Colin enjoyed capturing through still photography and video.
She adds, “I do want to acknowledge those anniversaries are really tough.”
A LOVED ONE IS STILL PART OF A FAMILY
“Losing a child is the worst thing ever, says Karen, “yet he remains a part of our family.” Karen continues to talk about him and sometimes she finds mentioning Colin’s name is noticeably uncomfortable to others. “I talk about Colin the same way during casual conversation that I talk about our other three kids,” she adds. “It’s important that others understand that Colin is part of our history.” She thinks that maybe because losing a child is “the worst thing ever” that others may not want to be reminded of that pain.
DON’T COMPARE A CHILD’S DEATH TO YOUR GRANDPARENT’S PASSING
Grandparents typically have lived a full life loaded with wonderful memories. “I understand everyone grieves someone they’ve loved and lost. But losing a grandparent or some who’s had the opportunity to live a full life just doesn’t compare to losing your child, particularly as a child or young adult,” explains Karen. “You not only grieve their loss on earth, but also the hopes and dreams you had for them.”
DON’T SAY, “LET ME KNOW IF THERE IS ANYTHING I CAN DO.”
Karen explained that phrase put pressure on her… she felt that she had to find something for the person to do and the request always was filed away in her head. The best way to help is to say, “I have a crock pot dinner for you. When is a good time to drop it off?” or “This group of families will be bringing your 1st grader home for the next three weeks.”
REMIND THE FAMILY THEY ARE IN YOUR THOUGHTS
Consider sending a Christmas card, a quick text or even a direct message through social media. “I just received a message from a friend I hardly talk with,” Karen mentions, “that was meaningful to me.” Also give yourself time and grace to respond to messages.
Each person handles grief differently. Our staff at Village Funeral Home encourages you to reach out to our staff at (248)627-3412 so we can match your unique needs to our plethora of resources.
Karen Jones is a registered nurse specializing in infectious disease. She also is a new board member of the Grand Blanc-based, non-profit The Beekeeper’s Well. The Beekeeper’s Well supports bereaved parents, siblings, and family members by providing both peer and professional support and grief retreats, as well as holistic therapies offered by members of our network of support professional.
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